“I am sorry, could you please repeat that?”

It is not often that something leaves me with my mouth gaping open as I struggle for something to say, but the following quote made by Jack Ablin succeeded.  The BBC news item is titled  ‘Dow industrials hit pre-crash 13,000 landmark’.  Mr Ablin’s astonishing intellect was bought to bear and the remarkable insight that has been reported, is as follows;

“I think it’s a momentous day for investor confidence,” said Jack Ablin, chief investment officer at Harris Private Bank.

“What this number implies is that the financial crisis, that we were all losing sleep over, it never happened because now we’re back.”

I am sure that I heard a collective cheer echoing around the world from the millions of unemployed and homeless who suddenly realised that actually the financial crisis never happened and they can all go back to their previous lives.

Some final considered advice.  If you have any money in Harris Private Bank, it might be a good move to take out as soon as you can before Mr Ablin invests it.

To read the news article click this link.

To leave your thoughts on Jack’s Facebook page you can go here

Or you can read Jack’s bio here

You sexy little Chihuahua!

When you think you have heard everything, here is one I bet you haven’t heard of.

A wheel-chair bound drug addict has been jailed for 10 years for having sex with a Chihuahua while high on crystal meth.  The 55-year-old has been jailed for 10 years and has been registered as a sex offender.

You can read about it here.  Perhaps it was the big adorable eyes that got him!

Jerusalem rabbis ‘condemn dog to death by stoning’

God bless idiots

A Jewish rabbinical court condemned to death by stoning a
stray dog it feared was the reincarnation of a lawyer who insulted its judges,
reports say.

The dog entered the Jerusalem financial court several weeks ago and would not
leave, reports Israeli website Ynet.

It reminded a judge of a curse passed on a now deceased secular lawyer about
20 years ago, when judges bid his spirit to enter the body of a dog.

A court manager told Israeli daily Yediot Aharonot the stoning had been
ordered as “as an appropriate way to ‘get back at’ the spirit which entered the
poor dog”, according to Ynet.

Do NOT fart in Malawi!!

Two of Malawi’s most senior judicial officials are arguing over whether a new bill includes a provision that outlaws breaking wind in public.

Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote “public decency”.

“Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting,” he told local radio.

However, he was directly contradicted by Solicitor General Anthony Kamanga, who says the reference to “fouling the air” means pollution.

“How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalising farting in public is beyond me,” he said, adding that the prohibition contained in the new law has been in place since 1929.

The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week reads: “Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour.”

Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting.

“Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?” he asked on the popular “Straight Talk” programme on Malawi’s Capital Radio.

He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders.

When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.

Cyclone Yasi – an Australian perspective

Earlier this evening I have been watching ABC Live 24 on the internet.  All the coverage is of course on cyclone Yasi, which is a Category 5 cyclone with winds expected of 300 km/hr.  Tens of thousands are in community shelters and a lot have gone inland.

During the broadcast they connected to their reporter in Townsville, who gave a very Australian summary of the known damage – he listed the damage to local area pubs!

You have to love the Australian sense of priorities. Hilarious.

So you are going to marry a Dutch girl?

Congratulations, she probably has blond hair and speaks her mind which you think is refreshing.  Well just one more thing before you go off and book the church.  This week it was reported in the newspaper that 4 out 10 domestic violence cases were against men. 

As a colleague remarked, the other 6 men are marrying women from other cultures 🙂