I was about to delete the email in the previous post but then I realised that I should take the time to respond to such a genuine once in a lifetime chance offer. Here is my response – enjoy.
Dear Allen Mark Ede,
This is indeed a coincidence. It was only last week that I was talking with other members of our family about the death of Randolf. We knew he was part of the extended family because he actually married the illegitimate daughter of my grandfathers third cousin twice removed, who had an affair with Roma gypsy who lived in a far corner of the families estate.
It is wonderful to actually have the opportunity to get some of the money owed to the extended family by this unprincipled money grabbing prick who actually completely shafted cousin Boris in a business venture that involved co-ownership of a brothel specialising in sex with large breasted dwarves, but that is another story.
It is imperative that this matter is kept completely confidential because I know from frequent interactions with my family in Uzbekistan, (the Karimov’s) that my cousin Gulnara has been blackmailed by the decendants of the Roma gypsy family who are trying to locate some of Randolfs fortune. Under no circumstances can we let them know that you have access to Randolfs estate because it will cause considerable complications.
Because we need to act in all haste I would like to propose that I transfer by Western Union a retainer of US$50,000 to secure your immediate services and confidentiality. In return for this I would like to have the funds as described in your offer below, deposited into my personal bank account in Vanuatu no later than close of business Monday September 26.
All the best,