Lately I have come across a number of references to a body of work with a remarkably similar title, exhorting you to pull your finger out. For the significant majority of the population who simply can’t be bothered here is my alternative 7 suggestions.
7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People
1. Do not be proactive. – Absolutely not. Do not volunteer or look for any more things that will potentially add more unwelcome stress into your already ‘stressed out’ day.
2. Begin with only the next step in mind. – Don’t over reach. Things are always liable to change so dont risk disappointment.
3. Put yourself first. – Be clear that your plate is already full and taking on any more tasks / responsibilities / actions, will probably not be of any real personal benefit to you.
4. Think Win/win. – This means just buy a lottery ticket, after all someone has to win it and it could be you.
5. Seek first to confuse. – Try and be as obtuse and confusing as possible. This will largely ensure that you don’t end up being asked to do anything additional.
6. Synergize. – What the fuck does this mean? Definitely ignore any invitations to ‘synergize’ as it will only result in you having to do something. If they insist and you sense being trapped apply Habit 5 in earnest.
7. Sharpen your appetite. – Take time out to nourish your inner self with the best Club Sandwich you can find, glasses of beer or wine (or both) and finish it off with a satisfying joint.
Develop these 7 habits to maximum potential and you will not be bothered by workmates / managers / sales people who by nature are trying to figure out how to dump some of their responsibilities onto you.